Truck Driver and Chickpea Man
by Parfait
Summary: Nanami comes into possession of the classic "monkey's paw"...


Parfait's Conventional and Rather Condensed Author's Notes :: The disclaimer's at the end. Anyway, seeing as how this is my first posted fanfic that excludes self-insertion characters, it's also probably one of the better ones. Anyway, this is a re-telling of the classic "The Monkey's Paw" with and absurd Nanami twist... interesting, ne? The setting is during the "Student Council Arc" in Shoujo Kakumei Utena, beginning in episode 8. It's the one where Nanami, Keiko, Aiko, and Yuuko go to India to find the secret spice... former knowledge of the series is helpful but not necessary.   
In case you were wondering, this story is told from Nanami's POV. It's implied but not directly stated.  
  
Now, what we all came for (I hope)...  
* * *   
  
"So, how far do you think we are from town?" I asked the truck driver, batting my eyelashes coyly.  
"Well... about a half hour, unless I miss my guess," said aforementioned driver, rubbing his chin nervously. He seemed uneasy at the prospect of chauffeuring me for another 30 minutes. Quickly, I turned on the charm.  
"Splendid," I said with a slight giggle in my voice. Flattery always pays. I rested my head on his shoulder. "We can... get to know each other better..."  
Truck Driver jumped slightly. He looked alarmed, though not completely displeased. My natural charm had claimed another victim. I smiled inwardly. Time to kick it up another notch, I thought...  
"Oh, come now," I cooed throatily in his ear. "You know you like me..." I rested my left hand on his knee and gave him a devilish smile.  
Truck Driver jerked the steering wheel so hard I thought he'd run us off the road into a nearby field. Of course, he quickly regained control of the vehicle and placed my hand back in my own lap. He continued to shoot furtive glances in my direction, however, which I returned with my tantalizing half-smile. I allowed myself a small, secret grin. As if he thinks I can't see him looking...  
We rode in silence for a short while. Once Truck Driver had calmed himself a bit and was concentrating on the road again, I sprung a sudden question on him.  
"Where would I be able to get the Super-Spicy Nine-Billion Fold Curry?"  
Truck Driver jerked the wheel again. Once he had re-righted his truck, he gave me a questioning glare. "Whaddaya wanna know that for, eh? Local secret, that is!"  
I smiled again, making Truck Driver go red in the face. "Oh... I cook occasionally... I wanted to make a really spicy dish, you know... for a special someone... but since you won't tell me where to get it..." I curled my lips into a pout. Silently, I waited...  
Truck Driver rubbed his chin again. "Well, I suppose I could take you to get some... it's right on the way, you know... just because you asked so nicely... yes, that's what I'll do...you mustn't tell no one though, y'hear?"  
"Well of course not," I replied in my usual voice. "Why ever would I do that?"  
  
* * *  
We disembarked at a small market at the outskirts of an even smaller town. Truck Driver pointed me in the direction of the spice, and told me where I could rent bicycles. Keiko, Aiko, and Yuuko climbed out of the back of the man's pickup, looking shaken and slightly ill.  
The man again rubbed his chin.  
"Well, I had better get on my way now... If you're ever in need of a lift, just remember old Joe, y'hear?"  
Joe. So that had been the man's name.  
"Oh, I'll remember you all right, Joe," I said with my patented devilish grin. "Now, where did you get that lovely spice again?"   
Joe pointed at small tent about 20 yards from where we were standing. "Down there," he said. "You just tell that tent's owner that ol' Joe sent you, and he'll give you whatever you should want."  
I waved sweetly as Joe drove off.  
Keiko, Aiko, and Yuuko gave a collective shudder.  
  
* * *  
  
I located the Tent of the Pursued Spice without catastrophe. Inside, the tent was musty, dusty, and slightly lopsided. The tent's resident vendor was a short, completely bald man who truly looked older than the dirt he was sitting in. On his Table of Wonders was an odd assortment of items, including a decidedly ugly piece featuring a bronze lemur with a clock in his stomach, and what looked suspiciously like the man's lunch, chickpeas that had been left in the sun too long. Much like the man's face, I noted.  
I purchased said spice with as little commentary as possible, for his chickpeas smelled less than pleasant. However, as my companions and I turned to exit, Chickpea Man called out to us...  
"Young ladies, return! Part with but five minutes of your precious time and in return, I shall give you a free gift!"  
I, of course, being far too busy to bother with cheap free gifts, pretended not to hear the old man. But Yuuko, being the bargain-hunter that she is, requested we stay and hear the old man out.   
"Free gift?" she asked. "Really? What is it?"  
"And why do you need five minutes of our valuable TIME..." I asked, massaging my head.   
"Ah, such an inquisitive nature! Ah, the hurriedness of youth!" wailed the man self-righteously, flailing his arms in a rather preacher-like fashion. "Alas, the time is only for the story behind your prize! Gather 'round and I shall tell the tale..."  
Yuuko plopped down eagerly, disregarding the man's obvious lunacy. Keiko and Aiko dutifully followed suit. But being resourceful I, of course, sat primly upon a small cushion the man was trying to peddle. One can never be too careful, I reminded myself, as I settled in for the man's ravings.  
  
* * *  
  
So that's it, the first installment. I hope you liked it, and if you did, why not review it? *plug plug*   
Anyway, Nanami, Keiko, Aiko, and Yuuko all belong to Chiho Saito and everyone else who cooked them up... Joe and Chickpea Man belong to myself.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
